Finding Solid Ground through exercising Gratitude and Thankfulness!

As the season of thankfulness arrives, November invites us to pause, reflect, and ground ourselves in moments of gratitude. In therapy, as in life, gratitude is more than an emotion- it is a practice that helps us feel more comfortable, present, and connected to the moment.

Finding gratitude can be achieved through many different mindfulness techniques. The book ‘Finding Solid Ground’ by Bethany Brand talks about healing through practicing ways to foster and embed mindfulness and grounding into your daily life, especially if you have a history of trauma.  Some of the formative topics include:

    1.   Grounding in the present,

    2.   Separating past from present,

    3.   Emotion regulation through self-compassion, and

    4.   Getting healthy needs met safely.

When we insert gratitude into each of these core areas, we support healing from the inside out.

Grounding through gratitude helps us to anchor in the present moment by noticing something small that feels good or supportive, such as the warmth of a drink, a color on your bracelet, or a smell you find comfort in. Perhaps it is the smell of your morning coffee, a colorful shoe you’re wearing or something you keep with you at all times. This simple awareness can calm the nervous system and help redirect your energy to something tangible.

Separating past from present often involves recognizing that even while painful memories exist, moments of safety and goodness exist as well. Gratitude gently shifts our focus from our instinct to survive in the past toward noticing what is different about today. This can be exercised through identifying what was different about today than the day your brain is convincing you is being relived. This takes untangling and working through the differences. Is the setting different? Are there different people present? How old are you today versus the day your brain is trying to relive? Once we can untangle our wounds, we can find gratitude for how good the moment feels today.

Emotional regulation grows out of self-compassion. Exercising thankfulness is not just external, it is for one’s internal system. It is noticing patterns, relationships, events, and behaviors that might have help us survive. We exercise thankfulness by thanking ourselves for our contributions to those things and inviting ourselves to recognize our brain was trying to protect us.

Lastly, getting our needs met in a healthy and safe manner is rooted in gratitude which often elicits healthy connection. Expressing thankfulness to others, even through silent gestures can strengthen relationships. Perhaps it is a hand on one’s shoulder, a hug, or a gentle reminder to your loved one of how much they mean to you. The act of exercising gratitude teaches the brain that although we are all born with a negativity bias for survival, positivity holds more power which ultimately leads us to resilience.

As we move through this season, may we practice “finding solid ground” in moments of gratitude - even in moments of difficulty. The act is exercised not by pretending to be happy, but by noticing what is steady and supportive beneath us. Perhaps it is the moments in nature spent reflecting on what we appreciate about the earth, what we appreciate about someone in our lives, or what we appreciate in ourselves. Whether it’s a recognizing how much we've grown, taking a moment to breathe, or acknowledging a kind conversation, each small moment of thankfulness helps us return home to ourselves.

Marisa Edmonston, MA, T-LAC

With gratitude,

Marisa